Day 7 Yinchuan

Today we spent the morning at the orphanage, Civil Affairs office and Public Notary's office signing documents and preparing for Emma's Chinese passport so she can travel to the U.S. next week. I was not mentally prepared for our visit to the orphanage today. Not that we saw anything other than happy children in the lobby with the nannies but because I hadn't prepared myself for the finality of going there today. I have thought of what it would be like going there but I guess you can never really prepare yourself until you are in that moment. When Emma started to cry when she saw all her nannies it broke my heart. She wasn't crying because she wanted to leave but because she wanted to stay with her nannies and the Director of the orphanage. It was so hard to see her so sad and grieving for them. She left in my arms willingly but she was truly sad and weepy. It was also so sad to see the other children with virtually no chance to be adopted. Most of the children that we saw today had down syndrome or some other major special need. I was a mess when we left the orphanage mostly for Emma, knowing we were taking her from the people she loved but also for those children that will grow up without a family. Adoption is so hard. So many emotions are felt during this process. It is not all happy but definitely worth it. I know Emma will have a wonderful life us that she wouldn't have had if she stayed. Knowing that makes those hard feelings easier to experience. Nothing can sugar coat those feelings though for the unwanted children of Ch!na left behind. They way heavy on your heart.

We were planning on spending the afternoon sight seeing with our guide but we changed our minds and decided to go tomorrow instead. All of us were feeling a little sad, overwhelmed and just needed to have a quiet afternoon. We had lunch at the hotel and all of us took a nap after. Tomorrow is a new day. We will sight see in the morning before our afternoon appointments.

Emma continues to do great despite todays orphanage visit. She is so funny, happy, playful, and MISCHIEVOUS! She is definitely testing the boundries with us. I think we might be in for it when we get home. When she does something she is not supposed to do (throw noodles on the floor, throw her baby on the floor, or if we tell her no) she laughs and laughs and laughs. I mean belly laughs. Oh boy!

 Lily is handling the big sister roll fairly well. She has been a huge help making Emma feel less nervous and scared. She has been so sweet holding her hand or rubbing her back when Emma needs comforting. The reality of having a little sister is sinking in though. Sharing has been difficult for Lily. We know there will be growing pains. I just pray those pains aren't too painful for Lily. She has been our little princess for the last 3 years. Now Emma has arrived and needs our attention too.

Now for the pictures.....    

Day 6/Yinchuan

Today has been a quiet day. No appointments or sight seeing today. Just resting and getting to know each other. Emma continues to do great. She is truly a sweetie pie. She continues to be affectionate and happy. We are trying to figure out her symptoms from her special need, Spina Bifida, at this point. For those that don't know, Spina Bifida can affect a child's mobility and bladder and bowel function with different severity.  Emma walks with a limp as her left foot is slightly smaller than the right. She is at times unsteady on her feet too. She can walk long distances though as we have taken a few walks around the city where the hotel is. She has sensation when she has to urinate or poop, which is great. The urinating we are still trying to figure out. She has to pee frequently at times and not at others. She had 1 accident yesterday but was dry this morning when she woke up which was also great. Yinchuan is different than I expected. It is cleaner and "newer" looking than other cities in china we have seen. We are getting many stares from the locals where ever we go. I think because we are Americans(we are the only Americans here that we have seen) but also because we have 2 little girls with us with visible special needs. My thoughts on that deserve another post at some point. Tomorrow we visit the orphanage and then do some sight seeing with our guide. More pics below!!

Emma Yilan has arrived!! Day 5

Today has been surreal! It truly was an amazing day. The only thing missing from today was Gavin and Sophie. I so wish they were here with us. Emma did great. She is absolutely adorable & precious. She was a little scared and cried briefly when she initially saw us. She quickly warmed up to us though. We have already had multiple smiles, belly laughs, kisses, lots of hand holding & eye gazing. She is sooooo talkative! She has talked non stop since we got her. I can only imagine what she is saying! She has eaten great, took a nap today and has been very silly & easy. No crying or tantrums, yet. Just silly and happy:) I know things can and probably will take a turn but we are enjoying the "calm" now. Just a few pics below. It is getting late and the girls need to go to sleep. Anthony is already sleeping. The jet lag this time has kicked both of our butts!!

We are in Yinchuan, Ningxia!!! Day 1-4

We finally made it! We left our house on Thursday and arrived in Beijing late Friday night. After a long flight and a little rest we toured the great wall on Saturday which was amazing but really smoggy and foggy. The visibility was horrible unfortunately. I will post picks later today. We flew to Yinchuan, Emma's city on Sunday and checked in to our hotel last night. We slept a little better and longer last night. We are now getting ready to GO MEET EMMA!!! We meet her today at 8:30 am (we are 12 hrs ahead of you)Yikes!! We are so nervous but really excited. Please keep our family in your thoughts and prayers. Today will be an emotional day for all of us.......(I know everyone really just wants the pictures, I will post them later if I can get back on to Bl@gger. This site is blocked in Ch!na and our access is spotty. I promise I will post pics as soon as I can).

Emma is so stinkin' cute!

We received an update today from Ann at Red Thread China ( redthreadchina@yahoo.com ).  We had requested pictures, video and for some questions we had about Emma to be answered. We are thankful we received an update and pictures. No video, we knew it was a long shot.

Pictures first.......

She is just so cute. I could just squeeze her! She has 2 cheek dimples and the cutest little nose. At age 3 she weighs 32 pounds. Yikes. Lily at age 5 weighs 34 pounds. I think we have a chunky one on our hands! As many know Emma has Spina Bifida. She had surgery in China when she was 9 months old to repair the lesion on her back. Mobility and bladder/bowel function can be impaired, among other things, with SB. We had asked many questions with this update for specifics regarding her functions. She can walk, run and climb stairs. She is "potty trained" during the day and wears a diaper at night. We do have concerns with her bladder function which will have to be evaluated once home. There are also some concerns regarding her gait which we noticed in a video we received back in January from a family that had visited her orphanage in August 2011. The orphanage did state "her posture looks a little strange, because her heel touches the ground first" and "her big movement is a little slow compares to same age children" (a little is lost in translation in those statements). We just want her home so she can receive the medical attention she needs regardless of her functions.

I had asked what her favorite food was and the reply I received was......LOLLIPOPS! LOL. I guess I will be bringing many lollipops to China with us. Maybe we can win her over with a lollipop. I must admit. It did work with Lily. We have pictures of those first moments with Lily (after the screaming) with a lollipop in her mouth. What ever works. Emma likes to "play dolls, balls, gymnastics and dance". Her personality is "outgoing, sense of self respect is very strong and she cries when she gets criticism from her teacher". She has a best friend and a favorite nanny. So cute. We want her home NOW!!!! I never wish the summer to come to an end, especially living on Cape Cod. But this year I want the summer's end to be closer. I want to be on that plane to China!   

Adoption Update & Fundraising

Waiting seems to be the name of the game. Wait. Wait. And wait a little more. This is not a new concept for international adoption. We waited in 2009 and we will wait again in 2012. We are currently on day 24 waiting for LOA (see below). Here is a time line and financial breakdown of what needs to be paid and happen to complete an international adoption with China.

Home Study- After you make the decision to adopt you need to contact an adoption agency to have a home study completed. Good Hope Adoption Services in South Dennis, Ma prepared our home study for us (highly recommend this agency). This could take 1 month to 4 months depending on the agency. Documents need to be gathered for this home study including marriage & birth certificates, work verifications, W-2s, bank statements, expense spread sheets, child abuse clearances from any state you have lived since 18 y.o., local & federal criminal clearances, local and federal finger printing, reference letters, physical/medical and laboratory documents. Depending on the agency this could cost $2000-$3000 USD. Post placement visits by your social worker (once home from China with your child) now have to be pre- paid prior to travel. Our agency fee is $2100 USD for the required 6 post placement visits.

Placing Agency- You need to choose an agency that will place your child with your family. This can be the same agency that does your home study or a different agency. Our agency was different, as we found Emma on their (Bay Area Adoption Services in CA) website. This agency has a wonderful reputation. I would recommend them also. Fees for this placing agency are around $6000 USD.

USCIS- The United States Citizenship and Immigration Services needs to approve you as a suitable adoptive family via the I800A application after your home study is complete. This could take 1 month or up to 3 months. Specific documents need to be submitted along with the multi page application. This fee is just shy of $800 USD, plus an $85 USD fee for each person in the family applying (over 18 in the household) for another federal fingerprint check.


Dossier Preparation- Documents need to be obtained and complied together to make your dossier. You can prepare your dossier documents simultaneously with your home study. This is sent to China for them to review you as a family and they decide if you meet the qualifications to adopt a Chinese orphan (there are approximately 1 million orphans in China). Dossier preparation can take a few weeks to months to obtain all the documents necessary. The documents needed for the home study are also needed for the dossier.

Authentications- As your documents are gathered they need to be notarized. After all your documents are collected and notarized, they need to be State Sealed. Depending on the state you live in this procedure may vary a little. The fee for Massachusetts is $6 per document. Approximately $75 USD  for all plus FED EX fees. Once notarized & state sealed the documents then need to be authenticated by the Chinese Consulate that represents your area. Most people use a courier services for this step. They have to be dropped off at the appropriate consulate, in NYC for MA documents, and picked up 4 days later. The fee to authenticate our documents was approximately $500 USD. After all documents have been authenticated they are sent CCCWA (China Center for Child Welfare & Adoptions) in China. Once your dossier is logged in (3days to 1 month) you then wait for your letter of acceptance (LOA) if you have already been matched with a child. This can take 1-4 months. Some families or agencies wait until the dossier is sent to China and logged in before matching families with a child. If a family has been logged in and then matched with a child, pre-approval (PA) is issued by CCCWA then the wait for LOA begins.

USCIS- Once you receive LOA you must then submit the I800 application for approval stating that your specific child is suitable for you to adopt. There is no cost for this portion (already paid with the I800A). This step takes approximately 3 weeks. Once the I800 is approved your immigration officer will mail the approval to The National Visa Center (about 1 week). They will then cable/email your file to the US Embassy in Guangzhou China for your Article 5 to be issued (about 2 weeks). CCCWA will then issue your TA within approximately 2-3 weeks.

Travel- Once you receive Travel Approval (TA) from CCCWA you can then make your travel arrangements!! Finally!!! On average plane tickets to China range from $1000-$3000 USD per person depending on the season you travel. Travel expenses in China are approximately $150 USD per person, per day which includes hotel, in country flights, guide services and transportation. For 11-14 nights = $1650 USD to $2100 USD per person.

Misc Expenses- Fed Ex fees averaging $400 USD. Mandatory China orphanage donation approximately $5600 USD. Mandatory child's medical exam in China $500 USD. Visa fees $140 USD per person plus courier fees $40 per visa= $180 USD per visa. CCCWA translation fees $760 USD. Grand total approximately $29,000 for this adoption.

So this leads us to the following: FUNDRAISING! We are starting to think about fundraising for our travel expenses. We are hoping to raise enough money for a portion of our travel expenses as they will be approximately $15,000 USD for three of us to travel. More to come soon on our fundraising ideas.....

Emma update....

We received new birthday pictures of Emma yesterday. Made my day when I opened the email and saw her sweet little face. We used ladybugsnlove.com for a cake to be purchased and sent for Emma's 3rd birthday on January 6th. We were starting to question if she really did get to enjoy a birthday cake because it has been 5 weeks since we requested a cake to be sent. Well, she did!


For those of you that follow my blog with few posts (bad, bad blogger), you are probably noticing that we have had a name change for our daughter. Originally we decided on Lila (after much debate). Lila has always been a favorite of mine. It was in the running but got vetoed when we were naming Lily. This time around I put my foot down and started calling her Lila as soon as we saw her precious face. Anthony started calling her Emma.....

Anthony was, lets just say, a little reluctant with the idea of adopting again. Not because we have had a bad experience with our adoption with Lily. It has been just the opposite. Her adoption has been wonderful and the transition has been easy, relatively speaking. He feels having 4 children to provide for and be financially & physically responsible for is overwhelming. I am sure most people can understand that. I certainly do. I feel it to sometimes. Loving and caring for a child that has no family outweighs those financial concerns for me though. If we have to sacrifice financially for one less orphan in the world to have a family to call their own then we should. The financial stuff will all come together somehow. I am not going to lie. There was some pleading and some promising (of financial changes) on my part before Anthony agreed to move forward with this adoption.....

Anthony has always loved the name Emma. He had mentioned the name Emma when naming Sophia & Lily. Since it was not one of my favorites it got crossed of the list. When we were reviewing Emma's file, before we had officially decided to move forward with this adoption, her American name that was assigned to her file by our adoption agency was Emma. I really didn't give it a second thought because I was convinced her name was going to be Lila. A few weeks after we decided to move forward with this adoption I was looking at a picture of Emma and it just hit me. Her name wasn't Lila. It was Emma. It didn't feel right to call her Lila. I think it was a sign from someone special up above. Her file was named Emma for a reason. Her name right away caught Anthony's eye when we were looking at her file. She was meant to be part of our family. Maybe a special someone planned it that way to soften Anthony's heart again....:) I felt this naming should be his. It was only right, it was meant to be....